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Category: Dirty Old Men

Pull OverEthel was a bit of a demon in her motorized wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched.

“STOP!,” he shouted in a firm voice.

“Have you got a license for that thing?”

Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him.

“OK” he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Harold popped out in front of her and shouted

“STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said

“On your way, Ma’am.”

As Ethel neared the final corridor, Craig stepped out in front of her, butt-naked, and holding his ‘you-know-what’ in his hand.

“Oh, good grief,” yelled Ethel,

“Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again!!’”

Took my grand-dad to the mall to buy some new shoes (he is 92) and spend some time with the old fart.

Peacock or Mowhawk?We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”

Knowing my grand-dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

“Got drunk once, and f*@$ed peacock… I was just wondering if you were my son.”

Peacock Showing Off

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